Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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