i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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