I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Houston, we have a blender
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
being pregnant is like rehab
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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