She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
