she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
