the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
