I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
