It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
