am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
