I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
