the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
