The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
