You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
