How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
