it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
