haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
