It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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