I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
