i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
