So drunk, too bad you don't want this
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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