You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
