Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
