just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
