AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
