sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
this hospital has no fireball
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
