Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
