i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
