what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
