I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
