I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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