Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
