Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
