Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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