You're my little dorito
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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