That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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