That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
