Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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