you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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