just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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