when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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