is your mom at the bar?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
