What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
