theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
