Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
