Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
