Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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