You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
