I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Are we still banned from the library?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
