I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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