I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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