How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He shit in the fireplace
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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