I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
