No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
