If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
