The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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