Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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